What’s better than being inspired?
Catching up with chi Thi tonight was so fun. She’s still the composed realist I remember from Semester At Sea and our Vietnam trip we did together. A generalist training to be more specialized in quantum computing and “atomic molecular optics”. She’s still crazily good at explaining very complicated concepts to normal people (and stupid me).
We talked about all the hard sh*t we had to go through in 2022. I talked about navigating life after a major rejection. Thi talked about overcoming massive impostor syndrome in grad school. I talked about the ugly side of writing online. Thi consoled and encouraged me to keep telling my story. And I encouraged her to get back into the habit of writing and creating.
Thi sprinkled 2 bits of wisdom that I took notes of during our conversation:
Stop looking for the 1 single right choice for your life.
Be prepared that you’re not gonna get everything you want.
The weird thing is, reading these 2 lines doesn’t inspire me. It gives me something else.
I used to think that the best thing I could get from meeting a friend is a spark of inspiration - a strong calling to take action. What’s possibly better than feeling inspired?
Tonight, I learned a better feeling - feeling safe.
It’s when you feel appreciated for who you are, not who you try to be. Neither I nor Thi tried to prove our intellectual prowess or pretended that we’ve got everything figured out. We just show up, ready to be vulnerable.
After more than 2 years without a proper conversation, we just know that we will be safe. That’s the highest level of trust I can imagine.
That is the foundation of a great friendship.
Friendship is not built on intellectual satisfaction, it is built on emotional safety.
You don’t need to feel inspired every time you hang out with your friends. You just need to feel safe.
