Public speaking is overrated

A TED talk is an 18-minute presentation of a project you’ve been working on for an extended period of time (a book, a research, a company...) Too often, we only see the glorious TED stage, the 18 minutes of undivided attention, and the applause that comes after the talk. What we don’t see is what happens before and after.

How many years did you put in your work? How many people doubted you? What happens 1 day after the talk? Are you going to stop because your goal (of speaking at a TED) is accomplished or Are you going to work twice as hard to make your vision come true?

In our society, public speaking is overrated and personal conversation is underrated. We are constantly taught to think that great leaders are great public speakers who can make compelling speeches to inspire others. People focus too much on impressing others and forget to build real connections. Too many try to be charismatic while too few try to be kind.

The grand speech or the big announcement is a milestone: “I did a TED!” But it’s usually the beginning. People may be motivated to join you after a talk. But inspiration is one thing, keeping them with you is another.

The big question is: How can you make them feel safe and connected?

Certainly not by a motivational speech every day. You do so by small, constant acts of caring: casual check-in, give truthful feedback, celebrate small wins in their personal life, show appreciation for every work they do, be there when they need you...

In hard times, there is no speech needed in a strong culture, only intimate conversations among people who care about one another.

In the end, I would rather follow a leader who cares deeply than a leader who speaks eloquently.