founder’s journal #1: “at least i tried”

first in this being a founder's reflection series

there will be more days like today - when you get to work in probably the nicest co-working space you’ve ever seen on planet earth, with your favorite people, preparing for seemingly one of the most important speeches of your life (and feeling really fcking good about what you and your team came up with)…

then you review your company’s balance sheet, and face the HARSH reality of being a clueless first-time startup founder.

yes, you’re a good salesman, but u still realize that driving sales is hard, and driving sales to sustain the monthly payroll of many other people is 100 times harder, with much more pressure on your chest.

you then get to see your friends who are working jobs half as hard as yours, facing zero to little pressure, making as much as or much more than what you’re making, planning for family and housing, having a great life.

you want their life.

then you ask yourself “why tf did i choose to do this?”

to move to a new city, refuse to get a 9-5 that pays well, to start a freaking business with less than 5% chance of survival and a track record of only mediocre successes…

what are you trying to accomplish? what are you trying to maximize?

then you have your answer: learning

i’m trying to maximize learning.

but not just any type of learning.

it’s definitely not the “how to climb the corporate ladder” type.

also not the “hyper-specialization” type.

it’s the entrepreneurial type.

i know, this sounds freaking cliché. i’ve heard so many people and read so many books that talk about it, but i’ve never felt it more clearly than the past 4 weeks.

entrepreneurial learning is:

• getting your hands on ANYTHING the business needs you with. it doesn’t matter what your expertise, interest, or areas of genius are, if the business needs (and has no money to hire for), you’ll learn how to do it.

• training your mental toughness to show up whether you’re having a good day or not.

• constantly thinking about how to grow the business. you’re obsessing over making this idea work every waking hour of your life (sometimes not by choice, sometimes by the weight of responsibility to your team, and yourself. remember? you chose this.)

• learning how to rest, because you’re the work-life integration type, meaning you enjoy your work and life blending together instead of separating. in order to go long, you have to protect your health and sanity by taking smart breaks.

• staying super disciplined and focused. no one is telling you what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. self-motivation and environmental design (who you are in close contact with) is SUPER important. if u get too distracted, the business can die.

• balancing risk-taking and risk management. if you’re the risk-loving type, you’ll learn to be a lot more practical and calculated (just look at your spreadsheet). if you’re the risk-averse type, you’ll learn to take bigger bets for better learning (not returns, learning).

soooo many more. and i know i’m still learning so so much every day.

this entrepreneurial learning is something i bet most people don't have access to. you really need to have 100% skin in the game to learn these.

you have to be a founder.

days like today remind me of the usual ebbs and flows of life. you’ll have good days and you’ll have bad days. sometimes, you can have both good and bad on the same day - these are the most confusing ones. should i feel good or bad?

then you realize that, as a founder, feeling good or bad doesn’t matter. you have to show up the next day, put in the work, and hope that the general trendline is upward.

the key is to show up.

days like today made me feel excited and scared.

i'm excited about the prospect and the work i get to do every day.
i'm scared of the potential failures that could define my life.

“it’s very hard to fix early bad decisions. not impossible, but very hard.” James Clear said something along this line in his newsletter.

so i thought about it. but i also remember the lesson i’ve taught so many students - the lesson i’m going to share in my next ted talk:

the life of anyone who wants to make a dent in this world is not a life of perfection.
it is a life of experimentation and constant improvement.

The point of experimentation in business or in creativity isn't success or failure itself—it’s the learning.

it is through this learning that you accumulate the ability to state with confidence that “oh yeah, this life is made for me” or “man, i hated it. but at least i tried.”

“at least i tried.” is the epitome of an experimental lifestyle - a life that focuses on maximizing learning and minimizing regrets.

i appreciate the life that i’m leading.

i might not work at the most famous company, or get the highest paycheck, but i’m learning skills that i cannot learn any other way, at a speed that no job can offer me. i make enough money to survive, and set aside some for savings. i have a very very healthy lifestyle. my co-founder and teammates are freaking inspiring and caring. our students love and appreciate the work that we deliver.

there are days that are tough as hell. there are days that i feel like i made the wrong decision. there are days that i couldn’t sleep because i was envious of other people’s lives, or anxious about not hitting a business goal.

but those days are all part of the game i signed up to play: the entrepreneurial game. at least i’m doing the things i’ve always wanted to do when i was younger.

Even if MỞ failed, i know that i had done everything i could to chase a dream that i believed in.

“at least i tried”

happily trying,
Tung