Day #3: How long vs How rushed
You can be the busiest person in the world, but if you want to, you can always make people feel “not rushed”.
I had a call with Stephen the other day to consult him on how to grow my business, and it was one of the best meetings I’ve had this summer. Here’s why:
Stephen is a new friend, a super smart guy, and a seemingly very busy person (given how tight he manages his schedule), so out of respect, I did not want to waste any of his time.
I asked for a 30-minute call and planned to get straight into business. But “Man proposes, God disposes”, the first 10 minutes of our call were used to troubleshoot my tech issues. By the time we were done fixing, I felt so bad for wasting 20 precious minutes of our time.
And the first question Stephen asked me was: “How’s home?”
Surprised as I was, we spent the next 5 minutes catching up on each other’s life since we last met.
Then, I set the agenda for the call, presented my problems and questions, then waited for Stephen to open the floodgate to wisdom.
He surprised me again, this time asking 101 clarifying questions to make sure that he understood my situation. Only then, the floodgate to wisdom was opened.
We went back and forth bouncing ideas and exchanging roasts. I vigorously took notes, trying to absorb all of his wisdom.
2 minutes before the end of the call, Stephen initiated the closure:
“Dude, I’d love to stay and continue chatting with you, but I have another meeting right after this one. So I’ll send you the articles I mentioned, but let me know if you need another call, and we can schedule one. Sounds good?”
“Yeah totally, glad I can help man!”
“Don’t worry about it Tung, tech issues happen all the time haha! At least we got something out of this right?”
“Alright, take care, Tung!”
I left the call, feeling so respected. “How can that be a 20-minute call?”
That day, Stephen taught me that you can be the busiest person in the world, but if you want to, you can always make people feel “not rushed”.
A 2-hour call can feel rushed.
A 20-minute call can feel just perfect.
Duration is not the problem. It has nothing to do with how long the meeting really is.
It has to do with how you feel time is perceived.
Was it calm and composed? Or rushed and chaotic?
In a bad meeting, the message is usually: “Hurry! I don’t have time for you or your silly questions.”
Stephen’s composure and patience sent a very calming message to me: “Don’t worry, Tung. We’ve got time.”
That message allowed me to feel safe. That’s what made it a great meeting.
People won’t remember “how long” they get to meet you. But they’ll remember “how rushed” they feel.
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