Yesterday, I found out the result of a fellowship I had dreamt of for 2 years.
When Sam told me about Watson Fellowship in the summer of 2020, I instantly got hooked. I told my mom the same night that this was what I wanted to do after I graduate. I want to travel the world, without worrying about money for an entire year.
2 years ago, I decided that Watson would become a part of me. I started thinking, planning, researching, networking, learning, and writing about my project. I met the school’s representative a year before admission opens, going through my ideas, and puzzling her with endless questions.
With 2 years of extra experience in my pocket and all the flashy titles on my resume, I felt so sure of myself.
“I will get it. This program is designed for me. I will get it.” - I would tell myself every time I think about Watson.
A month ago, I submitted the best personal statement I have ever written. Felt good about the interview. “I will get it”
Then I failed.
Not the first time. Won’t be the last. But there’s something special about this one: I failed to reach a dream I was obsessed with for two years. When you fail a goal you’ve had for THAT long, you don’t just fail.
You feel like YOU ARE THE FAILURE.
That’s how I felt, until a beautiful feeling took over. I felt liberated.
If you think of my life as a playground, I have been obsessed with this one flashy toy for the past two years. I was “locked in”. So focused on this “ultimate prize”, that I failed to notice everything else.
Until someone took it out of my eyesight.
For the first time in 2 years, my eyes are no longer glued to that one shiny toy. For the first time in 2 years, I can see the other cool games in the playground. And for the first time in 2 years, I give myself the permission and courage to explore the playground, play other games, and learn new rules all over again.
The best thing about failing to reach a 2-year dream, is the ability to zoom out.
To “zoom out” means choosing to see all the other games, all the passing opportunities, and all the people we always ignore when we’re “locked in”.
And you don’t have to fail miserably (like me) to do it. Zooming out is a choice you can always make.
I hope we can all approach life, the way we approach a playground as a child - in the spirit of exploration.
Maybe, that dream school, dream scholarship, or dream company isn’t for you. Maybe, you suck at playing THAT game. But in this playground of life, there is a beautiful game designed for you, just around the corner, waiting to be explored.
You’ll see it. You’ll find it. And best of all, you’ll love it.
All you need to do is to zoom out.