3 lessons from my first coaching session ever

I talked to my coach today about the 3 biggest problems in my life recently:
(1) is the fear of disappointing people,
(2) is the choice between the stretch zone and the comfort zone (or whether I should stay in the US or go back home to Vietnam), and
(3) is the lifestyle that I want to lead and whether or not I am capable of leading it.

I’m writing these thoughts and decisions down to reassure myself that I'll figure things out:

Lesson 1: We usually overestimate our importance in other people’s lives.

nobody has any expectations of who I should become BUT myself. so the fear of not living up to people's expectations of my potential is not grounded in reality. my family just wants me to be healthy, that's their only expectation/wish. so I'd better deliver on that.

Even if they really have expectations of me. I would choose to disappoint others, so I don’t disappoint myself.

Lesson 2: Life will require you to move between stretch and comfort, work and rest, grow fast and slow down. The question is not whether or. The question is when to prioritize what.

my decision is to follow my heart. and my heart screams Vietnam - my comfort zone. I have decided to go back to Vietnam after I graduate, at least for a year.

I've been known for constantly moving around for the past 7 years.

those 7 years gave me the chance to connect with a lot of ambitious and brilliant friends. besides the obvious benefits of them showing me different perspectives and enriching my life, being surrounded by hyper-ambitious people made me think that rest is bad. I even feel ashamed of myself whenever I’m not stretching (working/learning/growing).

I know that I've been hella stretched for 7 years. so I need this break. to retreat back to my comfort zone. de-stretch for the next big stretch, whatever it may be.

Mini-lesson: There are gap years designed for stretch. But there are also gap years designed for rest. My gap year 2 years ago was a stretch year. This next one will be a rest year.

Lesson 3: Your life isn't your work.

(3) this next year of my life will be an experimentation of the lifestyle that I think I would enjoy. I will find a lightweight part-time job to achieve some financial independence. this should take up 20% of my brain and energy (be). another 40% would be dedicated to growing MỞ.

and the last 40%, I would dedicate to myself. become healthier, meet new people, spend time with people I love, explore new grounds, take up new hobbies, or turn some current ones into habits…

I deserve this.

final thought:

I think everyone is chasing freedom, one way or another. freedom is the ability to do things on your own terms, at your own pace, with your favorite people.

the conventional way is to climb the corporate ladder for 10-15 years, make good investments, so u can have the financial freedom to do whatever u want at 35 (theoretically).

but I think freedom doesn’t have to be something you chase, it can also be something you choose.

Freedom isn’t something you chase, it’s something you choose.

choose to earn less, work less, and enjoy whatever you have.
choose to care less about social expectations.
choose to disappoint others, so you don’t disappoint yourself.

that’s freedom for me.